I ought to start a series called "F*kwits Today." But I have enough on my hands. So, while I am still thinking about Ironside, here's one for today.
Me: Could you pull a cardboard box from the back, please. I'd like to buy 7 bags of ice and put them in there.
Him (utter incomprehension): What?
Me (slower): I would like 7 bags of ice. It would be really helpful if you could pull a cardboard box from the back, so I can carry them home.
Him: Lady, you can't carry them.
Me: That's what the box is for.
Him: I can't sell you them; you can't carry them.
Me: I will put them in the box.
Him: How are you going to carry them.
Me: In the box.
Him: I can't let you do that.
Me (frustrated): unprintable.
He gets two boxes. Now, I *know* I can't carry that. He puts 3 bags in one. I repack them and then transfer them from the second. Eventually, I have all seven in the box and the box is on my knees.
Him (gushing): I've never seen that before. I've never seen that before!
Me (resigned): unprintable.